Today I was chatting with my cousin online and he mentioned that he had been at the cemetery yesterday. I asked him if Barbara's Easter things were still there and he replied that they would be picked up tomorrow so I had my mother run to the cemetery to get them before they were picked up and thrown away.
What I didn't know was that my cousin knew that they were gone and, in order to protect my feelings, asked me to have my mom call him. So, she knew that when she went there, they would be gone.
On thing that had been at her grave was a rosary that had lovingly been donated to her by my oldest child. I don't know how I will explain this to her. Two blessed palms were also taken as were two fake floral arrangements, a crucifix and a little stuffed rabbit from her grandmother (my mother).
As Catholics, we have to be buried in Catholic cemeteries whenever possible. This limits where our bodies can be put... So, we have no choice. Well, I am sick of it.
Here is an email I sent to CCAC a few minutes ago:
To Whom It May Concern at Catholic Cemeteries Association:
My husband and I drive every Sunday from Kent to your Brookpark cemetery in order to honor the remains of our deceased infant. Because my husband and I were so distraught when our baby died, relatives were kind enough to take care of the details surrounding her burial and, although we are grateful for this, had we been aware of the rules and regulations in your cemeteries, we would have looked elsewhere to have her buried.
We did not know that, in addition to a stone, we would have to pay for a concrete slab as well. This presents an issue for us as this makes getting our child a stone financially impossible. While $350.00 (min) may not seem like a big deal to you, it is to us and I am certain to many other people who have loved ones buried in your cemetery. I know that we are not the only people who are upset about this; at the same time we were learning about it (from Milano Co.) another woman was also hearing about it for the first time. She was elderly and, presumably, had buried her husband or child. She was so shocked and confused and, despite my own anger and pain, I felt bad for her. The sick thing is that people who have just lost a loved one are vulnerable and not thinking clearly. That, combined with the fact that, as Catholics, we must be buried in a Catholic cemetery, makes it all too easy for people like you to take advantage of people like us.
We also did not know that Easter decorations would be taken down so soon after Easter. While I heard today that there were signs posted, I never saw any. Furthermore, the Easter season officially does not end until Pentacost, which is still weeks away.
The Easter decorations we left for our child meant something to us; these things were not rubbish to be thrown away. Moreover, there were consecrated objects (a rosary that was a gift from our oldest child and two blessed palms) that were taken and, presumably, thrown away. This is sacrilege (CCC 2120). While my mother was at the cemetery hoping to get there in time to take our daughter's things down, other mourners were there and were equally as upset and angry as I am.
While I understand the need for cleanliness, hygiene and fire safety, I also feel that some of your rules and regulations go well beyond safety and any sort of rational thought. I have to wonder what sort of heartless person can think it is OK to remove personal objects from the grave of a baby- or the grave of anyone for that matter. I suppose it is all business to you.
I want you to know that, instead of shelling out an extra $350.00 for a concrete slab for a stone to rest on, the $350.00 will be put, instead, towards moving her out of your cemetery. I want you also to know that I will tell everyone I know not to bury their loved ones in any of your cemeteries. I furthermore want you to know that it is a terrible, terrible sin to take such advantage of people who believe they don't have any other choice (as Catholics)but to be buried in your cemetery.
A copy of this will also be sent to Bishop Lennon, who- as our bishop- should know that rosaries and palms are being thrown away by your staff at your command.
Losing a child has been the most painful thing that has ever happened to my husband and I; it is sad that our grief has only been maximized by your illogical, silly and absurd rules and regulations.
Sincerely,
Mrs.XXXXXXXXXXXXX
Please pray for all of the people who have been hurt by these rules and regulations!
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