Bearing False Witness

BEARING FALSE WITNESS

CCC= Catechism of the Catholic Church

Recently, I found myself in a position where someone took a very personal and painful situation and twisted it in order to be used to their advantage (publicly).
I used to think that “false witness” meant only lying about people however, it actually means much more than this (CCC 2464- 2470).
Now, in my case, someone bore false witness against me in the simplest of terms: she outright lied about me and purposely left out the majority of story while extracting from it just enough to further her cause.
The thing is, not only was this morally wrong, but also incredibly painful because she was lying about the death of my child and actually posted the lie on the anniversary of my daughter’s death.
What does the Church have to say about lying? Well, by definition “a lie consists in speaking a falsehood with the intention of deceiving” and “to lie is to speak or act against truth in order to lead someone into error” (CCC 2482). Also, while a lie in itself is only a venial sin, “it becomes [a] mortal [sin] when it does grave injury to the virtues of justice and charity” (CCC 2484).
　
The CCC tells us: “the Lord denounces lying as the work of the devil” (CCC 2482). Lying is to “be condemned” and is a “profanation of speech” (CCC 2484). Even worse, the CCC maintains:
“a lie does real violence to another; it affects his ability to know, which is a condition of every judgment decision. It contains the seeds of discord and all consequent evils. Lying is destructive of society; it undermines trust among men and tears apart the fabric of social relationships” (CCC 2486).
Furthermore, deliberately leading another astray by way of lying “constitutes a failure in justice and charity” (CCC 2485.
Now, I know that people believe that it is unreasonable and unfair of me (or other practicing Catholics) to expect others adhere to one of the oldest and most basic of moral laws, but I can’t help but expect at least some degree of fairness, truth and justice from competent people.
In the end, regardless of what a person does or does not believe- a lie is a lie and lying is wrong.
So, someone has lied about me and the death of my child…
The dilemma is (after the sobbing stops): how does a Catholic handle this without also bearing false witness?
Wrought with emotion, and only being a lowly human, my first thought was how to get her back (wrong!). Now, even though I felt flushed with anger and then grief, I decided to calmly defend myself and the honor of my child. I wrote a respectful and honest email to my offender.
Looking back, this was a mistake. Jesus tells us to, first, handle things privately and then, if the matter is not resolved, it can be dealt with publicly. Also, I was motivated by anger, pain and ego and nothing too good ever comes from this sort of motivation.
In any case, I tried to remedy the situation- to no avail.
So- how to proceed… how does a Catholic proceed in such matters? First off- prayerfully and mindfully and with love.
Love is hard to muster up when all one thinks she can feel is something fairly close to hate.
How can I honestly address this situation without being uncharitable, unfair and mean? What more do I have to know about false witness in order to avoid committing it?
MORE KINDS OF FALSE WITNESS
The CCC tells us that we always must respect the reputation of others and “forbids any attitude and word likely to… cause unjust injury” (CCC 2477)
One must also take care not to practice rash judgment on the “moral fault of a neighbor… without sufficient foundation” even if one assumes that the fault is true (CCC 2477). Rash judgment can be avoided by truly attempting to understand the meaning behind one’s words so as not to misunderstand and/ or misinterpret what is said. It means applying the principle of charity to the arguments and opinions of others rather than rashly assuming that someone is out to harm us or our reputation (CCC 2478).

Moreover, one must take care so as not be to guilty of detraction- meaning exposing the failings and faults of another to strangers without an “objectively valid reason” (CCC 2477).
Lastly, one must not be guilty of calumny by way of telling lies about someone and thus ruining their reputation and creating a situation where “false judgments” can be made about the victim in question (CCC 2477).
Both “detraction and calumny destroy the reputation and honor of one’s neighbor” and, being that honor is “the social witness given to human dignity“, detraction and calumny “offend against the virtues of justice and charity“(CCC 2480). What does this mean? In short, knowingly exposing the faults of others without sufficient justification and telling lies that ruin the reputation and honor of another human being is both unjust and uncharitable.
　
So, first off, as Catholics, we must be careful not to lie. Second, we must always take care to watch what we say (or write). We must not purposely set out to ruin the reputation of another by lying or even telling what we may believe is the truth. We must not expose the faults of others without sufficient cause and we must always extend the benefit of doubt to others.
Another thing to consider is the question of evil. Evil can bring forth evil. If to lie is evil then to defend one’s self in a disrespectful or sinful way is also evil. The work of the devil is everywhere and one can see his work by the misery, discord and pain it brings. As Catholics, we must not fall pray to evil and be seduced by it, thus doing more evil. We must ask Jesus, His Blessed Mother and St. Michael for help in defeating evil.
This is how Catholics deal with false witness. We don’t have to lie back and take it; we can defend ourselves with prayer, love, patience, caution, justice, charity and the truth.