UNinformed Consent and D&Cs Ought to be a Crime

Something I find interesting is that most of my posts aren't read. My goal here was to let it all out, so to speak, so that other moms in my position would not feel as freakish as I do after feeling so terrible after having lost a 4 week old baby. Oddly enough, my posts on infertility and D&Cs are the most popular; followed by anything regarding medical ethics. Cleveland Catholic Cemeteries association was also somewhat popular... I don't know what this means. What I do know is that it is very sad that so many people have to read my infertility and D&C posts; this means that a lot of people must be googling this topic and thus a lot of people are either afraid of infertility as a result of a D&C or are dealing with infertility as a result of a D&C. Perhaps a few people are just morbidly curious but who would think of researching this topic just for fun (eeek!)? So, this is very, very sad. When I got my D&C, I was scared and confused and I just wanted to get back to my baby who was (quite possibly) dying in the NICU. At the time, I was afraid that she would be dead by the time I got back. My husband was in no state to advocate for my best interest because now he had a wife who needed a surgery and a newborn who was dying. I made him go back to her rather than stay with me because she needed him more than I did and, if she were to die, I did not want her to die alone. Obviously, there was a lot going on. I didn't like the first doctor I met with very much; he was brusk and semi- mean. He spoke down to me and I was really afraid of him doing the D&C. Thankfully, because I had insurance (which is sick in itself), I got to meet with another doctor who was actually very kind and had comforting things to say. The nurse was also very kind and sympathetic- even the anesthesiologist was great. The procedure was explained to me and I was told how I would be put under. The only thing I was not told was how the D&C could effect my fertility. I was also not told about any other options and was told that I had to have it done because, if I didn't, I'd probably be back later, anyhow, to get it done (the first doctor told me this and so whether or not I absolutely needed it was no longer an issue- or so I thought). Normally, I would have asked about other options or what would happen if I didn't get it done, etc. But, under the circumstances, I was just too out of it to think strait. At 9:30 PM on a Saturday Barbara was born after 2 days of labor and no sleep. I lost a lot of blood that night from the retained placenta. I didn't sleep much and held Barbara for most of the night. At 10 am the next morning, we were en route to the NICU because Barbara had stopped breathing. Around 2 pm, she was baptized and we were able to see her. Around 4 am Monday morning, we were on the way to another hospital because something was wrong with me. The D&C was performed around 8. So, you see, things were really messed up at the time. This was why I was interested in getting it all over with more than anything else- my future fertility was not nearly as important to me as the present baby in the NICU... If I knew then what I know now, I would not have gotten the D&C. If OBs truly informed women of all of the possible risks of a D&C- including infertility- I would have much less of an issue with D&C related infertility. My guess is, though, that most OBs- regardless of how kind or well- meaning they may be- do not fully inform women of all D&C related risks. This means that the majority of women who are getting D&Cs do not know that they are about to submit to a procedure that may render them infertile. I have a huge issue with this. If a woman was put under for a section and her tubes were tied without her permission during the process, she could sue. It would be all over the news! But when a women gets a D&C and becomes infertile as a result, no one bats an eyelash except for the couple experiencing infertility. Even though the OB doing the procedure is aware of this risk and does not relay this information on to his patient, there is obviously nothing wrong or unethical with the procedure being done, anyway. This is how it is looked at by the medical monster (aka. the "establishment"), individual OBs and society as a whole. In my mind, however, the two scenarios are one in the same. I never consented to being made infertile- just like the hypothetical woman whose tubes are tied while she is under. Yes- I am saying that a D&C performed without real informed consent that renders a women infertile is akin to forced sterilization. Not that the OB forced the sterilization per se, but instead consciously withheld vital information that has impacted the health, well- being and my ability to reproduce in the future. The act of consciously withholding information is something that must not be ignored. The fact is that a D&C can cause scar tissue (adhesions) to form which, in turn, can cause infertility and/or repeat miscarriage. Miscarriage can lead to more D&Cs... which lead to... you know... on and on. The truth is that women are just not informed and, as a result, we suffer. There is no balm to soothe the pain of infertility. There are no words that can make things better. It is a lonely state to be in and people often say the wrong things when we choose to open up about our problem. If we believe that God gives us children and we can't have them, it makes it even harder. We wonder what we have done to cause God to not give us children. We feel guilty. We see others relishing their state of pregnancy or parenthood and we feel bad. We wonder why god "favors" them over us. When we see neglectful or abusive parents, we really question whether or not God knows what is best. I have found that it is very difficult to be a Catholic and also infertile. Very few people understand how I feel and I don't seem to fit in with my Catholic peers. My priest, though kind, doesn't understand how it feels and, as a result, can be a little insensitive. It is hard to see so many other pregnant women or women with babies and even harder to hear other women bragging. It hurts. One thing that bothers me about the Church is that she appears to be more exclusive than inclusive and if you aren't the way others want you to be in any particular group, you are excluded. Sadly, the only thing that should be necessary for inclusion is that one is a practicing Catholic who is trying- in earnest- to live by the Book(s) (ie. the Bible and the CCC). Time and time again I have had the door shut in my face because I wasn't the way others wanted me to be. Dealing with infertility has only made this worse and it has caused me to question my Faith. Since losing my baby, I have learned a lot about the world and people and have become very sad, mistrusting, scared, shy, resentful and bitter. Dealing with infertility has only made it worse. I am so angry with myself and the doctor because I had the D&C. I am so angry that it is OK to perform a D&C without first informing the patient about all of the risks- however small. This should be seen as a crime rather than standard and acceptable. I see, by the number of people who have looked at my post about D&Cs and infertility, that this is a real issue that needs solved. The medical community won't solve it and so we must. We must demand the truth from our health care providers. We must demand that all possible options are mentioned and explored all the risks of all options are known and weighed in comparison to the benefits. We must demand that our intelligence is respected and that our bodies are treated as the wonderful creations of God that they are. We are not patients #27865 and #48964; we are human beings. We are more than just a uterus that needs a good scraping; we are people with hopes and dreams- many of them having to do with the children we someday hope to have. "Demand" is not too strong of a word and it is what we will have to do if we are to make things truly just, ethical and reasonable when it comes to D&Cs in particular and women's health care in general.