Burying Our Dead

We are supposed to bury our dead; this is a Corporal Work of Mercy. As Catholics, we are also supposed to always remember the poor souls in Purgatory and honor and remember our dead. I take burying the dead very seriously and believe that praying for them, honoring them and remembering them is all a part of burying them. Because our Church commands this of us, I believe the Church also commands us to do all the things that fall under the "Bury the Dead" umbrella. This is why we have decided to save up in order to move our baby to a cemetery that would better enable us to honor her, as God commands. I believe it is dishonorable to take things from the graves of dead people and anyone who does this does something that is terribly wrong. This is the secular side of it; even the law recognizes that stealing from graves and vandalizing graves is a crime. The Catholic side of it is that Catholics are not supposed to throw away things like blessed palms. Also, while rosaries and other religious things may not be blessed, any person who could callously throw these objects away ought to really think about whether or not he wants to be a Catholic. Also, a cemetery that follows the secular calendar rather than the Church's Liturgical calendar should not refer to itself as Catholic. The liturgical season of Easter begins at Easter and ends at Pentecost- not one week after Easter which was when the cemetery staff stole all of the things from my baby's grave. The truth is that I don't feel I can properly honor my baby with the absurd rules to which Cleveland Catholic Cemeteries forces its families to adhere. I also feel like we should not support the outrageous fees they charge when it comes to buying a (useless) concrete slab to go under a stone. This is a hindrance, for sure, in honoring and burying the dead. It is also exploitive and thus very, very wrong. Now, I try to follow all the rules of my Church but when it comes to being able to bury my dead but I will have to opt out of burying them in a cemetery run by Catholic Cemeteries Association (CCC). Because CCC has the only Catholic cemeteries in my area, I will have to move my baby to a cemetery that is not Catholic. I will have to break the rules... I will have to do as my own conscience dictates and will have to keep in mind that fellow Catholics and Catholic organizations are not infallible. What gets me is that CCC has the approval and endorsement of out Bishop! Even so, I must do what I know is right. The irony is that the local secular cemetery will actually allow us to be more Catholic than the Catholic one will! I also believe that being able to honor our dead is a healthy way to work through our pain and grief. We have to be able to express ourselves in order to heal. If we can't express ourselves in away that we know is beneficial to us, then we should look into arranging things so that we can. I want a nice stone for my baby. I want nice flowers and to be able to put up little wreaths and other objects to honor her existence and also celebrate her earthly death which has led to her happiness in heaven. I also want to praise God in this way and let Him know that I feel better knowing that, even though my baby is dead, she is with Him. Right now, I go to the cemetery (which is hard enough) and become very upset that I can't really honor my baby and do things for her. While I know that she is in heaven, I still feel the need (as a mom) to make things pretty for her and care for her in some capacity. I also think that my kids feel the need to take care of their baby sister somehow; I believe this is therapeutic for them and also helps them deal with the fact that their sister has died (the youngest ones often forget or are in denial). Recently, I learned that it is OK to cry very hard and ask God "why?" It is OK to let Him know that I am mad at Him sometimes and that I doubt His love for me because He took my baby to be with Him. Ever since, I have felt much closer to Him. It was silly to think that I could hide anything from Him, anyhow, because He knows and sees all! I just think that, now, I voluntarily engage Him in conversation thereby inviting Him into my life. It has been a freeing experience. I suppose being free to honor my child will also feel freeing. It will feel good to decorate her grave as I see ft; to even plant forget-me- nots or daisies over her. It will feel good to leave her Easter things up until after Pentecost. It will feel good to know that whatever I leave will be there when I return and that I can be responsible for her in death as I was in life. This will make me feel very, very good! I don't know what the point of this post is...