The "Science" of Medicine and "Medical Ethics"- a Lethal Combination

I know now that evil truly exists because I saw it, felt it and fought with it for four weeks while Barbara was in the local NICU. The thing is that the evil- doers felt truly justified and that justification rested upon the "fact" that medicine is a science and that their actions were "ethical". The fact that doctors can claim that their practices are both "scientific" and "ethical" makes us all very unsafe... Enter the world of modern medicine where science and medical ethics combine to form one terrible, Godless monster. Modern Medical Ethics is a belief system in which apparently human beings are not necessarily human beings unless certain criteria are met and that the right to live and be treated medically is solely contingent upon whether or not someone is a human being (according to the medical ethics people). This philosophy is not based on any sort of moral code or standard and yet was treated as natural law in the NICU. Any why not- operating in accordance with this philosophy means saving time, money and energy and- at the same time- allowing for the earning of more money for the hospital and, after all, isn't that the bottom line? At first, my baby was not a human being because she did not meet their criteria; she was in a coma and did not appear to be coming out of it. She was very, very sick and did not seem to be getting better. She was never diagnosed as "brain dead" and there was no indication that she was; no examination or test was ever done that would have indicated that she was brain dead and yet the NICU staff behaved as though she was. Because this was how they "felt" based on "science" (ie. previous cases, experience, etc), they went with it and advised us to pull the plug very early on. Again, this was not based on any science but rather on hunch... so much for the practice of medicine being based on science! Now, even though we filled out paperwork indicating that we were Roman Catholic and the hospital claimed to be sensitive to the religious beliefs of its patients and their families, we were asked- several times- whether or not we wanted to pull the plug. After the first time, we replied that we had certain religious beliefs to which we must adhere and that we would be speaking with our priest the next day. This is what we said but what the doctor heard (and charted- I know because I saw it) was that we were "considering taking [Barbara] off of support". My mother- in- law also heard NICU staff discussing this while she was spending time with Barbara... Apparently, not only were the doctors ignorant and insensitive with regards to religious beliefs but were also either hard of hearing or living in their own other reality (or both?). So, we refused- over and over again- to pull the plug. While we fully understood that our child did not obviously meet the criteria that would have enabled her to be seen as a legitimate human being (in NICU terms), we also understood that our child was alive and that no one had ben able to prove that she would never wake up or that she was brain dead. To us- her parents- she was always a person and, as such, deserving of love, respect, attention and medical care and therefore pulling the plug would have been murder. I'd like to add that the doctors did not do anything other than administer antibiotics until a friend of ours, who is a Physician's Assistant visited her and asked to see her records. He- along with us- were not allowed to see her records even though I argued that- as Barbara's parents- her records (legally) were our property. Before this, though, they had done nothing because they assumed that she was not worth saving; after all, they had robbed her of her personhood very early on. When she started to wake up, move around, hear things, move her eyes, etc., the NICU people were stunned. They were wrong. Then it became a "quality of life" issue. She would have a low quality of life and thus we ought to still consider pulling the plug. Again, there was no basis for this assumption and the only thing they had to go on was the opinion of the same neurologist who had misdiagnosed our oldest child 8 years prior (more at the end of this entry). His opinion was based solely on "pupil response". Her pupils did not appear responsive and apparently this is now what determined whether or not she was a human being worthy of living. So, the criteria, apparently, is not static... it can change depending on one's will and inclination. Very handy, indeed! Being that the criteria are obviously not static indicates inconsistency; inconsistency indicates faulty logic. A system in which faulty logic is acceptable and implemented can only ever be false and thus ought not to be trusted. Now, the neurologist relied on the observations of several different nurses in order to decide whether or not she was a person. Again, solid science, right? Well, again, this is all subjective. Some nurses would see one thing while others would not. It seemed like the nurses that thought of her as a human being (God bless and keep them well!) were able to see things like her eyes moving, her yawning, coughing, responding to touch, sound, etc. while those that did not think of her as a person never saw anything but vegetation. One nurse in particular seemed angry that the nurse before her had charted pupil response and set out to actually prove her wrong to us! So, again- very subjective and thus not very scientific! The thing is that no human being can rightfully judge what quality of life another human being has or will have and the truth is that all human beings are created by God, for God in order to fulfill some purpose and thus all lives of any "quality" are useful and important to God. And, even atheists have to admit that the term "quality of life" is subjective thus pulling the plug based on a subjective opinion is murder. Still, they made it sound so compassionate... like they were trying to do her a favor. A "minister" even approached me about pulling the plug (along with a social worker who wanted to know who was homeschooling my kids and wanted to speak with them alone- ie. without me). But the truth is that it had nothing to do with quality of life- instead it was all about whether or not she would become a productive member of society (because that is what it is really all about, isn't it?) and also the fact that she- who was not really a person- was taking up valuable NICU space that ought to have been occupied by a baby who was deserving of personhood and thus worthy of living. It was no secret that the NICU was so jam- packed that babies had to be turned away and that nurses felt overwhelmed and overworked. Because they would not grant her personhood, we witnessed many NICU people treating her like an object; never speaking with her, never repositioning her, not taking her temperature even after being begged to do so (and then it had gone up to 103* due to their negligence in putting her unattended under a warming lamp). When we complained, we were asked what we wanted them to do about it... we were also told that, if the nurse about whom we complained was chastised, life could get very uncomfortable for us... (a threat, perhaps?) The NICU staff was hopeless; and hopelessness means devoid of hope. Hope is a virtue; it is a Godly thing. Absence of hope is not of God but of something else entirely... We had nurses crushing hope constantly. All we could say was that we trusted God and it was all up to Him- not us and not the doctors. They would tell us what the "reality" was- as of they had ever known! And then ask us what we would do is the outcome was bad. We always had to say- over and over again- that we trusted in God and that He would do what was best. We saw one in particular relish the fact that she did not see something that the nurse before her had seen! The better she got, the more disgusting it became to deal with the neurologist. He just couldn't deal with the fact that he could have bee wrong... he set out to prove himself right and grasped at straws in order to continue to condemn her to non- personhood status. Eventually, he swore that there was something wrong with her pituitary gland even though he had no evidence of any sort to back this up. Even after a pediatric nephrologist looked at actual data from blood work three times and affirmed and reaffirmed that she did not have this issue, the neurologist pushed it and they "cleansed" her of all sodium which turned out to be very stressful on her recovering body and, I believe, ultimately contributed to her death. So, I guess- in the end- they were successful in murdering her... The day after the day she appeared to be coming out of it, she started to go downhill again. My husband and I swore that she had an infection but the doctor refused to listen to us. The next day, we said that she had an infection and, again, no one would listen to us. We had to sit around and watch- totally helpless- as she faded away from us. The night before she died, we begged the nurse to get the doctor three times and he refused to come every time. Her condition rapidly deteriorated that night and, by morning, we knew she was dying. We knew this before the doctors and nurses... Again, we asked to see the doctor and were told that he would only see us while on rounds. We waited and waited. When he never came, we asked where he was and were told that he decided to take a break. He did not materialize until I asked the nurse whether or not it had been documented how many times we had asked to see the doctor... The doctor arrived and, not only did he behave in a very rude and condescending way, but it was clear that he could have cared less about our child who, to him, was not a child at all but a thing- an object... not worth his time, attention and consideration. The last day, when the neurologist showed up to check her pupil response, we finally told him off... we knew very well that it was his opinion that had kept her from getting adequate medical care because, ultimately, it was he who had decided that she was not a human being... Three hours before she died, a very kind doctor told us that she was not going to make it- that she had an infection. We were blessed that he was on call and that the nurse in attendance was one of the few who had been kind and respectful towards us and Barbara. The doctor handed her to me right away because, according to their science, she was going to die immediately. She hung on for almost three hours- in my arms. She died in my arms as I prayed over her. I have to wonder how many babies have died as a result of medical science and ethics... I know that, had we chosen to pull the plug on our child, we would have been pulling the plug on someone who was, in fact, a creation of God and a human bwing. We never would have gotten to read to her and watch her respond to the sound of our voices. We would not have been able to feel her squeeze our hands. We would not have been able to get to know her- which was a real privilege and blessing. We would not have gotten spend four weeks with her... I would not have seen her turn her eyes towards the sound of my voice... Essentially, had we followed the advice of the doctors, we would have been killing a baby- a human being with potential... I also have to wonder what kind of a society we are that we can allow things like this to happen. Babies are the most vulnerable and weak among us and yet are treated with such callous disregard and disrespect. I do not understand how doctors- who are supposed to preserve life- can be so eager to take it based on nothing more than hunch and a flawed, subjective code of ethics. The truth is that these doctors commit murders under the guise of being sympathetic and caring and maybe some of them even believe that they are truly sensitive and caring... (like doctors who commit murder by abortion perhaps?). I wonder what the future of medical "science" will hold if it is already so broken, Godless and corrupt now. When a system that calls itself scientific but, in fact, is not- and yet still exists as if it is- the very nature and definition of all science(s) must be called into question. The truth is, that medicine is not a science... and it is an insult to any true science in which subjectivity, real logic and scientific method are employed. In true science, there are very few laws but many hypotheses that are given some credence but yet are never treated as absolute truth. In true science, anything is possible. In medicine, possibility hinges upon how creative doctors are and what their minds can grasp. Even medical "studies" are suspect when one figures out who funds them and carries them out... The practice of medicine is hit- and- miss; get rid of or alleviate the symptom rather than figure out and deal with the actual cause. True science asks "why" until an answer can be found and then it still continues to question its results. Medical Ethics is a huge field and will only continue to grow as every facet of the medical industry continue to become more and more greedy and more and more gluttonous. The fact that someone "qualified" to decide what is right and wrong is behind medical policies and standards assures the public that their best interest is always in mind when, in fact, nothing could be further from the truth. We must never forget that the Nazis also had intelligent and educated people (and doctors!) who were able to come up with seemingly ethical reasons to kill mentally ill, handicapped and deformed human beings when, in fact, their reasoning was terribly flawed and the public lied to. With the Health Care mandate, things like who is a person and thus has the right to live and/ or be treated will become a big issue. I also believe that degrees of personhood will be firmly established and whether or not a person receives approporiate and life- saving medical care will largely depend on personhood status. This will all be "ethical" and thus justifiable. This is what happen when we allow a system devoid of God and ignorant of natural law to run things and decide things for us... Please believe me that evil exists and it often exists where we least expect it to exist. Be wise and careful and always trust in God. As to our oldest child, my OB almost killed both of us during labor. When she was born not breathing, it took the OR staff 7 minutes to decide whether or not they wanted to rescusitate her and, after deciding that she was worth it, they collapsed a lung. At three days old, she had a seizure that lasted over and hour from residual anesthesia in her system (both of us had been ODd in the OR) and we were told by the neurologist that she would be "mild- moderately retarded" and that she would never do things "like play soccer." In fact, she is now 8 years old and is just fine- "gifted" in fact... I'd like to end this by stating that there were some very kind people in the NICU and these people made those four weeks tolerable and, at times, even pleasant. I do not know how I would have gotten through those weeks without them. I will be forever grateful for their kindness and I will never forget the love and respect that they felt for Barbara. I know that she was loved, there. I will always pray fr these very special people and I hope they know that Barbara will always be with them and watching over them! God bless you and God bless all the NICU babies and their parents!